Quoting Love

To whom it may concern,

Hil hates you.

This one is a little bit random, but i'm talking to you. Yes, you. The one that thinks they know everything about love. Suddenly, the love sage has taken over the internet like a plague. As if emotion can be summed up within 140 characters, or that a few clever words stolen from someone else will suddenly make sense when placed on top of a romantic picture. Love memes. How fucking inspiring. And I'm sorry, but I have to call out mostly women for this. Or should I say girls? Although, there are also a lot of naive little boys thinking that if they quote Shakespeare enough that the heartache they feel will suddenly make sense. It won't.

"Come what sorrow can, it cannot countervail the exchange of joy, that one short minute gives me in her sight."

Has now become:

"If you can't take me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best."

Very clever, little girl. Look, if I can't handle you at your worst, it doesn't mean I don't deserve you at your best. It means you're bat shit crazy. Believe me. I can handle a lot.

And really, the advent of the internet is really what has helped make this problem more apparent. There has always been people using quotes from other writers. Little journals filled with doodles and words of wisdom to themselves. With the key word being "themselves". Unfortunately now, I'm forced to read people quoting their favorite line from the latest episode of Dr. Phil, thinking they possess as much wisdom as Buddha, Mother Teresa, or the Dali Lama. These cyber philosophers are in my face. All the time. If the internet was school, Social Media would be riding the short bus to class.

It's a shame that your actions don't mirror your Facebook page's introspective genius. Four hours after you're done posting on Facebook about realizing that you know everything about love and relationships, I'm guessing that I'm going to see you at your favorite real life social hangout spot, pressing your slightly exposed ass against the first random guy with a smile. All the while, sharing more of the wisdom you've learned on the Internet:

"YOLO!!!"

Fuck you.

I'm kind of embarrassed that this blog was inspired by what I see on social media websites. A blog complaining about memes. There's comedy somewhere in that. But that's not what it's about. What really bugs me are these people looking for motivation from others without trying to think through their problems themselves. First off, whoever you are, if you are constantly flooding the internet with annoying pictures of the cutest couple ever, laid underneath of cliche quotes written by a Hallmark card author, then you're giving everyone who sees it a tiny peek at just how crazy you are. Why are you not using your lost love as a process to see clearly, understand the things that you can learn from and want to forget, and remember the things that made you happy. A witty quote may be relatable and make you realize others have been where you are now, but if you don't think deeply about any situation that is bothering you then you will never be able change. And when you're unhappy, usually the best remedy is a deep, truthful dose of change.

You haven't felt anything that hasn't touched me. And you don't impress me by your ability to share virtual tragedy in the form of comedy with me. Show me something real. If i'm going to be bombarded by this self loathing digital bullshit constantly, at least make it something that you created yourself. I want to see the real. I want to hear about how you think that you told her "I love you" too soon. Tell me honestly if you think that you should have moved to California with him. I want to read the words of someone coming to the realization that they are attracted to someone that hurts them. And I don't want to hear you laugh about it afterwards.

So I put the test to you. Stop telling me what's wrong with your life. Especially if you're going to do it through the words of someone else. Think about your problems. Really think about them. Then think of one thing that you truly want to change about yourself, or the way you live, and actually do it. Seriously try. Do things that you normally wouldn't. Say Yes. Or if you find yourself doing that too much, it might be a good idea to start saying no. Get off the short bus. I'm giving you the ability to change. Take two doses and call me in the morning.

H.H.

Welcome to the Hil

To whom it may concern,

Hil hates you.

I'm not here to try to make any sense to you because most of you don't make any sense to me.  I'm never going to claim that I know what everything is all about, and I will never promise that I'm going to provide any answers that you are laboring for.   But I will try to point out everything that's wrong with you, me, and this crazy carnival ride we call life.  There aren't many certainties in the world, and I like that, but during my ride I've learned a few things that I know for sure:  The term, "this is better than sex", is not always false but is rarely true. It's OK to drink during the day as long as you're drinking scotch. And, a cold bed with someone is always better than a warm bed alone.  But still, the one question that I continue to hunt down the answer for is, "Why are people so deplorably stupid?". 

I find it funny writing this first post  during the festive, and cheerful, Thanksgiving weekend. It makes me feel the need to write something that is centered around the Holiday. If that's what you're expecting, I don't know if it's what you'll get by the end.

Every year during this time, by default, everyone seems to always be talking about food, diets, stomach training and bulimia.  That's all I can remember hearing my whole life during the month of November, but now with Facebook and social media in it's most booming period, people's opinions are more in your face than ever. The good. The bad. The brainless.

My favorites are the ones who think that they're going to change the world by pointing fingers, ranting and complaining on their favorite social media outlet about how they are better than anyone who celebrates this Holiday.  You know who they are.  The first ones to let you know how horrible of a person you are because you're going to stuff your face with more food than you need, and "how dare you fill your stomach to the point of explosion while there are homeless and starving kids in Africa!!".  They are also the last ones to provide any real answer on how they can do their part to help these poor starving children in Africa, unless it involves organizing a music festival full of jam bands feeding the world with their spiritual sounds, or somehow transcending above the "capitalistic and selfish ways of American society" with sheer deep thought and meditation.

Fuck you.

First off, most of the people that I hear, or lately read, that are preaching this type of ignorant hate, lack any kind of real world experience.  Just because you have lived by choice with the bare minimum, doesn't mean you are any better than someone who decides to overindulge. That's the thing about deep thought. You actually need to think. Until you decide to actually take action about something you care for, you are no different than a person who doesn't even bother to care in the first place. And you can't expect anyone to start following you until you start the journey. Chew on that for a second.

Now, that leaves the rest of you. The ones who have worked in a food pantry, or served hot dinners to the homeless on Saturday night, and still preach about how Thanksgiving is such a gluttonous holiday. My hat goes off to you, but I have one very important thing to say to you. Relax.  Life is what you make it, and the best way to rise above whatever chains you believe these holidays put on our culture, is to think about how to make Thanksgiving good for you.  Due to my ancestors history with the Native Americans, I don't personally celebrate this time of year with a warm feeling in my heart while thinking about the settlers and Indians sitting down to a peaceful turkey dinner drowning in gravy. The original Cowboys vs. Redskins turkey day tradition. However, I do use the time as a reason to get together with family, friends, and everyone else I love to try to reconnect with old relationships that I miss and further solidify the ones I have.  If you think that a certain Holiday is all about greed, just make it about love.

Now, I'm not defending everyone that overindulges during thanksgiving.  Mr. "deep-fried Turducken and french fry feast", you do not get a pass from me.  If you have more cool whip than pumpkin pie, I hate you. And if you're saving your fourth helping of mashed potatoes and gravy on your face for later, I pray that you aren't raising children.  I'm sure that you do, in fact, need that last turkey leg, but don't you want to ask if there is still anyone hungry that might want it?    A woman I met told me that there wasn't much that could make her not like a person, unless they put too much mayonnaise on their sandwich.  I like that.  

But you see, the thing I hate most about these Thanksgiving-haters that I hear and read all over the Internet, is the fact that the day AFTER Thanksgiving is never included. No one ever says a bad word about Black Friday until they've  gotten back from Walmart. Their trunks stuffed with bags more than their stomachs the day before.  This day disgusts me. Will someone please explain to me how this was even started? I mean, the term "Black Friday" is actually referring to companies' profit lines. Basically, corporate America has named the Friday after Thanksgiving in celebration of their profits rising out of the red, and into the black.  The fucking day is all about rich people making more money, and all we can do is screw over the next person for a new coffee maker.  If there is a day that can singularly resemble ignorant greed, it is Black Friday.  I have seen fights between old women, children abandoned by their parents, and the most revolting forms of selfishness all in the name of getting the best deal on the newest "Molest-me-Elmo" doll.  I have an idea. This year for Christmas, you should teach your children a lesson by showing them how to not give in to corporate brainwashing.  Believe it or not, teaching your kids to not imitate your bad habits IS doing something. But unfortunately, based on the pictures I saw, that Walmart strike isn't working out too good.  

So, with that other Holiday right around the corner, try to calm down. People may not celebrate the way that you do, but celebrating in general is the point. Instead of telling someone how NOT to do something, try to show them how TO do something. It's really all about fun and feeling happy, and if you aren't going to do any good, at least don't do anything bad.  Try to help someone. Make somebody laugh. Tell her how you feel. Remember to enjoy yourself and everything you have. Eat whatever you want, but make my sandwich light on the mayonnaise. 

H.H.